Most couples over-plan the parts of the day nobody remembers and under-plan the part everybody does. Here is roughly how we would split it.
The ceremony
You need four moments: guests arriving, the aisle, the signing and the exit. Pick the aisle and exit yourself — they are the two anyone will notice — and leave the other two as a mood rather than a specific track.
Drinks and dinner
This is background. The job is a level people can talk over and a direction that suits the room — not a chance to play the whole record collection. If speeches are happening here, the mics matter more than the playlist.
Give your DJ ten must-plays and ten do-not-plays. More than that and you have written the set yourself; fewer and you have not given them enough to work with.
The first dance
Decide the length in advance. Full-length tracks are longer than they feel when the whole room is watching — a clean edit at around two minutes, then straight into something that fills the floor, works far better than fading out awkwardly.
The evening
Leave this one alone. A pre-written evening playlist cannot react to the fact that half the room went outside, or that the older guests are leaving at eleven. That is the part you are hiring a DJ for.
Last thing: check your venue's finish time and whether it has a sound limiter before you plan anything. Both change what the evening can be.